Scout Stolen
"Worst Day Ever"
By Snatchy McPickles
The Jeep is gone. Vanished. Stolen. Poof!!!
I walked outside yesterday morning and my car was not where I had left it. There was no glass on the street - no sign of violent entry - no nothing. I filed a police report, called the insurance company, and BAM! now I am driving a light blue Ford Taurus until this carnapping case has been resolved.
Poor Scout! She was with me for only 3 years! We had fun smoking together, eating together, going cross-country together. We went to NYC and Napa, Atlanta and San Francisco. And now she is gone - probably being raped in a dark garage by a bunch of you know whats. Haff'n knows to who I am referring.
To top it off, I was still pretty sick as of yesterday - so this made for one of the worst days of my life. I went to bed at 9:30 after eating some mocha fudge ice cream.
Hopefully Scout will turn up. USAA gives the investigation 3 weeks - after that they declare the car "totalled," and write me a check. Scout's Bluebook value is around $6,500. But as we all know, her sentimental value is indeterminable.
In the meantime, please feel free to recommend a new car to buy! I was thinking of the Toyota Highlander.
-Snatchy
posted by DMS @ 8:59 AM
3 Comments:
I recommend you buy a new 2006 Pontiac Molester.
Audi A4 my friend - she'll turn that frown upside down. I named my "Susan" (think Phil Hartman on Sprockets). Quattro and 3.0 rock!
Losing a Jeep is a pretty tough thing to go through - losing 2 of them almost makes you want to give it all up. But we go on, and there are other SUV's out there. I'd also consider an Explorer.....
Word,
Snuggles
"Dear Dan, if you're holding this letter you already know. The Jeep is missing. The doors, the windows. Everything. We're at the Comfort Inn. Room 112. I love you. Frank
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