Berlin Reports to Date

BERLIN JOURNAL: 3/1/15 – 3/13-15

Day 1 People, I cannot begin to express how amazing it is to be in Berlin. My apartment is awesome - there is a a perfect writing table next to windows overlooking the Prenzlauer Berg and sights beyond. On this first day I had lamb sausages and two beers at a Food Truck park nearby, passed out, and woke up and took a 5 mile walk to the old Jewish Quarter. At the end of the return journey I stopped off at an expat bar for....yup....a Jack & Coke. Because I am from America. And that's how we roll. Anyway, the real point of this e-mail is to thank each of you for being my friend and confidante over the years. I have realized time and time again - and particularly on this journey - that the source of all my Rocky Balboa strength comes from my friends and family. It's the only fuel that has ever mattered and ever will matter. You are - each and everyone on this e-mail chain - a blessing. And I could have never embarked on this crazy ass journey without your encouragement. I am now going to eat this tasty Doner kabob I have in front of me and pass out (again). Peace out my friends, -Dan

Day 1 – Goethe Day 1 of class started. My peers include Will from Sydney, Massimo from Bologna, Roberta from Rome, Chalmiya from Uzbekistan, Kitty from London, Maria from Toledo, and Nasef from Egypt. Afterwards we all went to a bar for several beers and do you know what dominated our conversation? That's right. The Anaconda video. Nicki. Minaj. Worldwide.

Day 4 This morning I woke up after having nightmares all night and proceeded to the top of the largest tower in Berlin - the TV Tower. You may have seen it in the Bourne Supremacy or in your own nightmares. Anyway, after spending 30 minutes 1,200 feet above the city and taking several glamorous photos with my new friend Ursula (from Warsaw) I started feeling airsick and proceeded....away. Went down to the Under Den Linden and made it to the Spree and to Museum Island, where the Germans have stuffed all their Colonial loot in a building complex (think British Museum). The Under Den Linden is a beautiful avenue filled with beautiful architecture, an amazing Cathedral, and the Brandenburg Gate - which I avoided because I wanted to save that for it's own day (along with dancing on the bar at the Hotel Adlon and running nude through the Tiergarden). And so I busted over to the Jewish Quarter (where I keep ending up - as if it's a magnet), and had the WORST bagel sandwich ever. Hilary asked me if I had found the Goldberg's of Berlin yet...the answer is still nein. The place was called Bagels & Bialys - and as hard is it is to screw up a bagel sandwich - they did it. Whatever. Next was German class at the Goethe Institute with Massimo, Roberta, Maria, Kitty, Chalmiya, etc.....4.5 hours of learning German - which is shockingly fun. Proud to report I have not made an ass out of myself yet, which is actually disappointing to my inner 5th Grader. Afterward, some of us went to a bar - Cinema Cafe - the oldest in Berlin (which means it survived Allied bombing - I am not lying). I showed everyone my X-wing fighter costume from the Chewbacchus parade, which of course is street-cred in any civilization. Went home in a snowstorm afterwards, had sausage and fries in the U-bahn station. Now at home and trying to pass out. All in a day's work. -Dan p.s. As I walked around Berlin today, I thought of something Chris Rock said about being black in America. He said, "You love America....LOVE America, but in the same way you love an uncle that molested you." This is sort of how I feel about Berlin/Germany.

Day 5 "Weird Start, Good End" By Snatchy McPickles Sponsored by Sparky News, "Sparky News ist Alles Gut News" I had nightmares again all night about you know what and all that jazz and beebop, so woke up feeling anxious about this whole undertaking. But, I wrote a little this morning - have come up with a trove of ideas since being here - and then rocked out to U2 during my 20 minute to class. It's an interesting walk by the way. I go down the Shoenhauer Allee past the oldest Jewish cemetery in Berlin, into Rosa Luxembourg Platz, and then into the Shuenenviertel (Old Jewish Quarter) where the Goethe school is located. The other route is down the Kastianallee past the Zionkirche, where Dietrich Bonhoeffer preached. If you don't know who that is, look him up. Do it. Back to U2 for a moment - really, aside from the Beatles there's no other band better to get you not just pumped - but inspired. Not even Def Leppard. So - class was good - I learned all the German words for family names today (mom, dad, etc...), and all the words for stomach trauma - diahreah, constipation, etc...not really. After class I walked up the Under Den Linden in a driving rain storm to the Brandenburg Gate (Danny/Jeff - I have the right gear for urban extreme weather changes), had some russians take a few pictures of me there, and then banged a left over to Potsdamer Platz for two beers at Cafe Billy Wilder (NOT Joan Wilder) and then finally to the Berlin Philharmonic and a performance of Beethoven's violin concerto and 6th Symphony. Two things: 1. Two men started yelling each other during the performance interrupting everything. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but it sounded like two Jews arguing over Potato Salad or a Rye Bread at a deli. Bizarre. Also, yelling in German remains a scary activity. 2. I am an amateur when it comes to classical music - but, well, it was amazing. The first chair violinist was this elfin woman who looked like Tilda Swinton and just brought the house down. Time to pass out again.

Day 6 Not the biggest day - but Fun: I live above a complex of restaurants, bars, and night clubs called the Kulturbraurei. Every night around 2:00am....thump, thump, thump begins. Fat bass lines. Big bass lines. Bass lines. It is something. Last night, the bass lines drowned out whatever nightmares I have been having and I finally slept for more than 4 hours. Good start to the day. I went to class, and learned a lot of German - names for colors, names for distant relatives, more conjugated verbs, just a lot. All in all I can say the Goethe Institut knows what they are doing, and I have learned more German in my first week than in all Indiana Jones, Saving Private Ryan, Inglorious Basterds, and Schindler's List movies combined. Money well spent. And it's just been a week. After class I went with Will (the Australian), Jalmiya (the Uzbek), Richard (the Romanian), Kitty (the Brit), and James (the fellow Californian) to a Restaurant in the Mitte called Schwartzwaldstuben, which loosely translated means "Black Forest Room." The place looked as if from a scene in Grand Budapest Hotel, with the heads of boars, deer, and BIG DEER all over the walls. Anyway, nice dinner. Afterwards we walked up the Torstrasse to find gelato, but instead just found throwback Soviet bars. Interesting. Came back to the Prenzlauerberg and went to a market to find a canned jack & coke, which Mike Hollister and Jeff Dorso - is definitely something that needs to be in America. Anyway, this weekend will be bare-knuckle writing, meeting up with friends at Rosenthaler Platz tomorrow night, and a trip to the Mauerpark on Sunday morning and hanging with a friend of Jordan's Sunday evening. At some point I hope to fit in a run in the Tiergarden, but we'll see. Let me conclude by saying this is the first Shabbat I am having in Berlin. "Blessed our God, lord of the universe who hath kindled the Sabbath lights." That's damn right. ELE. Love to you all.

Day 7 Saturday in Berlin. Can you feel that? BERLIN? Feel it a little more? Oh. Yes. If you don't, pump out a little Bowie, or some EDM, or just sniff a line or two. BER - F'ing - LIN. The day started off how you would NOT want to start a day off. The club I live above - I mentioned this earlier - belted out music until 8:00am. I could not sleep until 3am, until I fell asleep at 6, and woke up again at 8, took a sleeping pill (Don't worry about addition), and woke woke up at 11. 11:00. A good time to rise. I did. Wrote for a solid 6 hours (with a break to buy ear plugs in between). And let me say, I wrote beautiful magic during those 6 hours about good things. About God. And German hymnals and Bonhoeffer and children at play. Nice, good things. And, yes, I am tipsy as I write this. Anyway, The six hours of writing folded into 7:00pm, whereupon I met up with new best friends Ricky, his three FINNISH friends (apparently Finland is a real place?), James, the Uzbek Jamilya, and Kitty the Brit for dinner and drinks, and more dinner at a Tex/Mex burrito place near Alexanderplatz, and ending - at an Absinthe Bar. The Absinthe Bar gave us a second wind, however. Duh. A third wind moreso. Actually, a seventh wind. And it was at this point where I led everyone to the Clareheus Ballhaus. The Clareheus Ballhaus is...I found out days ago through underground sources - the best 1940's-1990's dance club in Berlin, and it is located in the old Jewish Girl's School off the Auguststrasse in the Sheunenviertel. Imagine this. Partying with 400 people in an old Jewish Girl's School to a German band playing Come on Eileen, Prince, Outkast, Frank Sinatra, etc.... Imagine it. Can you? No you cannnot. But that's fine. I did it. I felt weird about it as you could imagine. But that's why we drink Absinthe beforehand. Anyway, it was an amazing night - only thing missing, MIKE HOLLISTER, was Iggy Azalea, but that's another club for another night. Good times. Great taste. That's why they call it our place. Solid night. -Dan p.s. We all make shitty decisions in our life. Its simply unavoidable. This trip has been a good decision. p.p.s. This is true. My apartment is on the top floor of the complex. It overlooks all of Berlin, including a complex of shops and restaurants in the immediate vicinity. But there are no blinds or curtains, even in the bathroom. EVEN IN THE BATHROOM. So, every morning I wake up and shower I moon Berlin. And I flash Berlin. It's unavoidable. And somehow so appropriate........ Goodnight. ELE.

Day 8 Guten Tag: After the debauchery of last night, today was spent lazy-strollin' around Berlin on what has been the nicest day here yet. Went to the Mauerpark with my classmate Maria from Toledo. The Mauerpark is a gigantic flea market which the Berlin Wall used to run through. Long and short - I bought nothing, but got some nice pics in front of the Wall - posted on the ICloud album. I did see a t-shirt that said, "My Cat Smells Like Bruce Willis," which I should have bought. Oh well. Afterwards took a break and then went to Kreuzberg - the hipster/Turkish neighborhood to the south of the Spree to meet up with a college friend of Jordan's named Katie Holland. Katie has been living in Berlin for the past 7 years leading Christian outreach projects at several universities here in the city. Katie gave me the lowdown on all things Dietrich Bonhoeffer. One story I love - apparently the Germans have not put any historic markers up for Bonhoeffer's residences, churches, etc... Katie found the apartment building where he lived and in a black Magic Marker scrawled, "Dietrich Bonhoeffer Lived Here." Love it. Anyway, we had some gelato and walked along the Spree, nice time. Kreuzberg is beautiful, with canals running alongside grand European facades - like a mini-Paris. After 6/8 nights spent dining on doner kebabs, tonight I was craving the red meats. It turns out that the cheeseburger craze so prevalent in Atlanta and all over the US has made its way to Berlin. Went to one place down the street where there always seems to be a line - was like having a burger from Ruby Tuesday's, which after everything was just plain perfect. Have also decided that my "go wild and explore Berlin like Tommy Lee/Bon Jovi" days are done. Time to crack down on writing for now.....so these e-mails might get a little more boring. Hope everyone had a grand weekend.

Day 9 Taking a break from writing at the moment. Slow day today. Went grocery shopping, bought...groceries (have decided to save money and cook at home). Meat here is $$$. Let me clarify. All meats except pork are $$$$. A chicken breast was 17 euros. So, I decided to go vegetarian and buy a ton of pasta, bread, and....vegetables to cook at home. Anyway...... Went to class, learned a bunch of German words/plural conjugations, etc... I asked our teacher why certain German words were 29 letters long, like: Indianajoneskeepsblowingupourtanksplatz. She looked at me like I was crazy. Thankfully the rest of my classmates pushed the question. Her answer? "It's more practical." Still trying to figure out a real answer to the question. Anyway, left class and faced with the prospect of eating vegetables and pasta decided to have gelato for dinner instead. Yup, I hit three different gelato stands on the way home. White chocolate at one, pistachio at another, strachiatelli (?) at another. Also of note, I signed up to go to Sauchenhausen Concentration Camp on Sunday. Despite its name, the place is actually not a resort/spa. Seriously, I convinced my friend Will the Aussie to go with me...someone will need to hold my hand. Tschuss!

Day 10 Taking a break from writing at the moment. Slow day today. Went grocery shopping, bought...groceries (have decided to save money and cook at home). Meat here is $$$. Let me clarify. All meats except pork are $$$$. A chicken breast was 17 euros. So, I decided to go vegetarian and buy a ton of pasta, bread, and....vegetables to cook at home. Anyway...... Went to class, learned a bunch of German words/plural conjugations, etc... I asked our teacher why certain German words were 29 letters long, like: Indianajoneskeepsblowingupourtanksplatz. She looked at me like I was crazy. Thankfully the rest of my classmates pushed the question. Her answer? "It's more practical." Still trying to figure out a real answer to the question. Anyway, left class and faced with the prospect of eating vegetables and pasta decided to have gelato for dinner instead. Yup, I hit three different gelato stands on the way home. White chocolate at one, pistachio at another, strachiatelli (?) at another. Also of note, I signed up to go to Sauchenhausen Concentration Camp on Sunday. Despite its name, the place is actually not a resort/spa. Seriously, I convinced my friend Will the Aussie to go with me...someone will need to hold my hand. Tschuss!

Day 11 Not much to report. A lot of writing. School. Kebabs. Passed on the club scene to nurse my health. peace, Dan

Day 13 It was Friday the 13th and all was quiet in the City of Berlin, except for the Jew who decided to take the place by storm. Boom. :) Big day today. Have shut myself in the last few nights and written, but today I decided to venture out into the world and find some inspiration. Part of my novel takes place in the Tiergarden - the kids play in it - one of the protagonists lives off of it. And so I set out to discover those places - to find them in real life. Amazing to have the ability to actually do that. So...I took the U2 U-Bahn Line to Zoo Station (Sac Gang - I love this), and walked the entire Tiergarden. Climbed the Victory Column (think the Washington Monument of Berlin) and found wonderful views of the City. Ventured over to the Reichstag and got a mad case of the giggles. (e.g., Hahahaha stupid pre-1945 Germany). Than went over to the Soviet War Memorial - which commemorates the victory in the Battle of Berlin....the last good thing the Russians ever did. Finished the walk with some photos in front of the Brandenburg Gate and a mad dash up the Unter Den Linden to school, but not before pounding a schwarma sandwich. Note - Berlin has the best Middle Eastern food outside....the Middle East. Sat through a class - it is getting much harder, and then went to a farewell dinner for one of our peers - Massimo from Bologna. This sucks because Massimo was my tablemate, and the person I turn to when I have no idea what our teacher is asking or saying. Maria from Toledo observed that the most common thing she hears from our table is, "What the F-ck did she say??" Oh well. Tschuss Massimo!! Ran from the dinner to Gendermenmarket (i am certain I misspelled that) to the Berlin Konzerthaus to hear noted soprano Annette Dasch sing popular neo-classical works from 1920's Berlin. It was awesome, but I was dead at intermission and decided to turn in for the evening. Tomorrow is back to writing, then meeting Will the Aussie at the German History Museum. Afterwards we are either going to a Bundesliga game (Hertha vs. Schalke) OR the Berlin Dungeon depending on the weather. Ahhh.....this. is. Berlin. Hope everyone has a beautiful weekend!